


Chill of Chance

by Stone_Princess



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, First Time, M/M, Non-Consensual, episode-related, hurt-comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-16
Updated: 2005-03-16
Packaged: 2017-11-01 04:55:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/352157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stone_Princess/pseuds/Stone_Princess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate ending to 'Red.' Clark and Lex made it to Metropolis after all. (repost)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chill of Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I owe the creators of Superman and Smallville a huge debt for giving me something wonderful to work with. I do not own or have any rights to the characters herewithin.
> 
> Much thanks to my army of betas: Nerodi, Autumnyte, Joyfulgirl, Farouche, Acampbell and especially to Rhiannonhero, without whom this would have been a much tamer, more easily digestible story.

* * *

"I came to shoot some pool, but it looks like this establishment is closed." Lex smiled at Clark's voice, glad for the distraction. His father's emotional extortion had taken his office and left him using the pool table as a desk and cleaning up files that looked worse than they had after the tornado. He lifted the last of the scattered files into the box as he answered Clark without turning around.

"My father's presence has required certain sacrifices." 

"Why don't you throw him out?" Clark asked. 

"Clark, it's not like the thought hasn't occurred to me..." as he turned, Lex's heart stopped at the sight before him, from black boots to fitted black jeans to couture jacket, "...but his blindness changes the situation." It looked like other situations had changed, too. Lex caught himself gaping and closed his mouth. Clark looked... different. He looked sexy. Well, sexier. 

"Just because your father has a problem doesn't mean he needs to ruin your life." 

"I wasn't aware that a two-thousand-dollar coat came with a backbone." A backbone and a new attitude, it seemed. Clark's body was straight, his movements measured and smooth. The usual awkward shyness was overtaken by something Lex couldn't quite put his finger on. In any case, Lex knew something was up. "What's going on?" 

"I'd like to borrow the Ferrari. I've got a hot date tonight and I want to rock her world." The hint of a question usually present in Clark's voice and all signs of his insecurity were gone. It was almost as if someone else was residing in Clark's body. 

"'Rock her world'?" Lex laughed, unable to believe this was Clark, _his_ Clark that he'd just seen yesterday. "Ah, so." Lex managed to quickly regain composure. "Lana at last?" 

"Well, like you said, a man needs to know when to make his move." 

"Well, I'm glad you're finally acting on your feelings, but Lana has never struck me as the kind of girl who would be impressed by a Ferrari." Lex guessed that finally asking Lana out had gone to Clark's head, suddenly turning him into every other teenage boy, cocky and out to impress. The innocence that had always attracted Lex was gone, but Clark was no less attractive for it. Just different. Lex pinpointed the difference in Clark then, he seemed _calculating_. 

"Fast cars, fancy home and a ton of money never hurt you, did it?" Clark asked. Lex smirked and his eyes drifted to the floor. Apparently, Clark was fully embracing teen shallowness. Some surge of hormones had clearly sent him into a tailspin. "C'mon, Lex, I just want to make tonight special." 

Lex bit his lip, tilted his chin up and chided, "I don't know. It's a very expensive piece of machinery. Difficult to handle." He fixed Clark with a narrow gaze, unsure that a boy who had suddenly found so much masculine bravado would be able to keep from doing damage in such a car. 

"I don't know. It's not like I'm going to..." Clark paused, looked to the side a little coyly, "...drive it off a bridge." Lex's surprise at the teasing jab was acknowledged with a little twitch of Clark's brow. He moved toward Lex as he spoke, confidence radiating from him, "All you have to ask yourself is: who is more responsible than Clark Kent?" It wasn't until that moment that Lex realized who Clark sounded like. He had to admit that hearing his own tone and attitude mimicked was very strange. 

The truth was Lex wanted to give Clark something. He had asked for very little from Lex in the past and had refused most gifts. Convinced that whatever was going on, the reliable Clark would win out, Lex gave him the keys. Lending him the car wouldn't hurt anything. Even full of the thrill of new-found teenage love, no one _was_ more responsible than Clark. There was no one Lex trusted more. 

* * *

Lex's days had taken on a surreal quality as he tried to pack twenty-five hours of work into each day. The fact that his office had been commandeered made everything a bit more complicated. He was completely engrossed in the month's reports as Clark barged into the room. 

"Lex! If it's okay with you, I'm gonna keep the Ferrari for a little longer. I'll send it back when I get myself set up." Clark's energy was palpable. Lex could see his anger burning up the air around him. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. Clark, what's going on?" Lex pushed the computer aside, tearing his mind from his work and giving his full attention on Clark. Concern overrode the pleasure he usually took in Clark's sudden appearances. 

Clark leaned back comfortably into the chair next to Lex, putting his feet up, his body language changing instantly from hurried and angry to relaxed and commanding. 

"I've left home." A clear and simple statement. Yet it really made no sense whatsoever in Lex's ears. 

"What happened?" Lex leaned forward, hoping to see Clark better, looking for clues in his friend's expression. "Was it a fight with your folks?" Lex's concern and confusion probably leaked into his voice, but he didn't mind. If Clark needed his support right now, he'd gladly give it. 

"My parents don't understand me," Clark answered. That wasn't news, Lex thought. No one's parents understood them. Something else was going on. Lex waited patiently for more information. "The truth is there's nothing left for me in Smallville," Clark spoke impatiently. 

Lex wondered if Clark noticed his swirling hurt, dismay and confusion as he filled the space with, "What about Lana?" He hoped the real question, 'what about me?' wasn't too apparent in his voice. Lex swallowed the pain he felt at the idea that Clark didn't rank him as worthwhile. 

"She's old news. I've got a new girl now. Jessie." 

"Kind of sudden, isn't it?" Sudden was an understatement. Lex had chalked up Clark's new bravado to the rush of finally asking Lana out, but now Lana wasn't even in the picture. What the hell was going on? 

"Look, you're the one always telling me I need to find my destiny. Well, one thing for sure is it isn't here in Kansas." 

"So you've just packed up your stuff and you're off." Lex hoped to point out the absurdity of Clark's behavior by stating it in plain language. Clark hadn't just given up Lana, but everything else here and Lex didn't have a clue as to why. 

"You have no idea what I'm capable of." Clark's voice and the look on his face were clearly meant to intimidate and Lex almost shifted uncomfortably under the hostile gaze, shocked at the flash of fear he felt. 

Lex went still, his eyes narrowing as he cautiously asked, "Really? Why don't you fill me in?" Clark seemed poised to reveal the secrets Lex had always suspected him of keeping. Now that Clark's sunny personality had turned to volatility, Lex took the road of caution and waited for whatever revelation might be forthcoming. 

Clark stood and walked around the room, his back to Lex as he spoke, "Let's just say that when I get through showing the world what I can do, I'll have everything I've ever wanted. I may be even richer than you." Full of combustible energy, Clark moved around the office, his tone defiant, suggesting envy that Lex had never been aware of before. The bitterness in his best friend's voice stung. 

"Maybe you're right to want to get away from your folks." Lex spoke calmly, wary of this Clark and possibly a little afraid of him. "Maybe I should do the same." 

Lex wasn't sure Clark would buy this deception but it was the only tack open to him at the moment. Something was seriously off about his friend. Clark was acting so abnormally, Lex was beginning to wonder if Clark was on drugs. Judging by Clark's reaction to merely re-stating Clark's intent to leave, it seemed that almost anything might set him off and Lex didn't want to see the strength Clark hid so poorly used against him. 

Lex continued, "My father wants the mansion so much, he can have it. I never wanted to live in Smallville anyway." If he could convince Clark that they were going to Metropolis together, maybe he could keep Clark here long enough to figure out what was wrong with him. 

Clark's eyes lit up, a smile played on his lips and he almost looked like his old self when he said, "You can come with me." 

"Nobody is using the penthouse in Metropolis. We can stay there." 

"Clark Kent and Lex Luthor, I like the sound of that." 

Lex took a steadying breath and managed an awkward smile. "Let me just tie up a few loose ends at the office." He turned, afraid that Clark would see the duplicity in his face. "Make yourself at home. I'll be right back." If Clark really was going to Metropolis on his own, there was no doubt that he was headed for something dangerous, Lex told himself as he headed to the Kent farm. Surely he could do something to help. 

* * *

"Excuse me, Mr. Kent." Lex said as he entered the barn. 

Jonathan spoke quietly to the exiting Pete before turning to Lex. 

"Uh, Lex, this is not a good time." Jonathan's voice was strained. Lex wondered just how bad the fight with Clark had been. 

"I understand you and Clark have been having some problems." 

"Look, uh, I don't want to be rude." Sure, thought Lex, Jonathan was never rude where Luthors were concerned. "But I'd prefer it if you stayed out of my family's problems." Jonathan put his hands on his hips, obviously checking his emotions. 

"I'm not trying to pry, but Clark's my friend. I'd hate to see his relationship with you fall apart." Lex felt a twinge at how true this really was. He needed normality from Clark to keep his own equilibrium in place. His jaw tensing, Lex held Jonathan's eyes as he spoke, hoping to show with his face that he knew how serious the situation with Clark was. 

Jonathan sighed deeply. It seemed like he was using all his strength to remain calm. "I appreciate your concern, but Clark and I can work this out." Lex knew he was being put off. The tension in Jonathan's body showed his anxiety over Clark, but he still wouldn't accept Lex's help nor was he going to tell him anything helpful. Irritated at Jonathan's exceptional pig-headedness, Lex played his only card. 

"Then why is Clark hiding at the mansion?" 

"Clark's at the mansion?" Astonishment, fear, anxiety and relief flickered across Jonathan's face. He obviously hadn't even known where Clark had gone. 

"For right now, but he says he's leaving Smallville and I'm not sure how long I can convince him to stay." 

"I'm not sure he needs _your_ convincing, Lex." Jonathan practically spat the name. "This is a family problem and I really don't need you involved." 

Lex bit his lip in frustration. He really should have known better than to offer Jonathan Kent any help. "No, Mr. Kent, I suppose he doesn't need my convincing. As far as I can tell, right now, Clark is going to do whatever he wants." Lex stood straight, spoke calmly, as if he were simply relaying facts. "I don't know what's wrong with Clark, if it's drugs or some kind of meteor exposure?" he asked, but Jonathan remained stone-faced and said nothing, so Lex went on, "Whatever it is, Clark's clearly going to get himself in trouble. I was hoping I could help you stop that." 

"Help me? What could you possibly do?" Jonathan's voice was bitter. 

Lex couldn't do anything unless Jonathan trusted him and that was obviously not going to happen. "I can see you have no intention of trusting me. All I can say is that I have Clark's best interests at heart." 

The conversation had forced Lex to take responsibility for Clark. If Clark was set on going to Metropolis, then Lex would go with him, and do his best to keep Clark out of trouble. It probably wasn't the best way to handle the situation, but he could keep an eye on Clark this way. If Clark wasn't on drugs, if there wasn't something wrong with him, then Lex was eager to see if this fierce new Clark was more than just adolescent rebellion. 

* * *

Lex took very little time to get ready to go to Metropolis since he pretty much had everything he needed at every house. In a few minutes he had gathered the files from the pool table, tucking the papers he would need and his laptop into a black bag. As he looked for anything else he might want, Clark knocked around on the newly cleared pool table, all the tension and anger he'd had when he burst in earlier replaced with an easy calm. Even the movements of his body as he lined up shots were sleeker, more in control than Lex could ever remember Clark being. 

From the moment they met, Lex had been aware of Clark's sensuality. When he opened his eyes, as he came back to his body on the riverbank, and saw Clark's face, he knew he would spend his life obsessed with the angel above him. Clark's innocence was sheathed in the body of Adonis, but this new Clark was sexy in a different way altogether. He radiated power and he clearly knew the effect of it. His hips rolled as he walked. New clothing displayed his firm body to its best advantage. And this never-before-seen attitude had a bit of come-hither and a bit of get-on-your-knees-for-me. Clark was completely out of control, yet clearly ready to dominate everything around him. 

Later, in the car, if Clark was affected by the thought of leaving his lifelong home, it didn't show on his face as he stared out the window at the passing cornfields. Though it seemed impossible, Clark was stretched languidly in the tiny space of the Ferrari. Every time Lex shifted gears his knuckles brushed Clark's knee. The sensation was like electricity, like the sexuality this Clark radiated came right up and shocked Lex. Static sexuality. 

The two-thousand-dollar jacket was neatly folded over the back of the seat. Clark's black t-shirt clung so temptingly, outlining the work-toned muscles of his chest. Around Desiree Lex had always had the sense he was losing control to his sex drive. As he inhaled deeply, Lex felt the same sensation from Clark's presence. Clark emitted heat, hunger, and power. 

Lex cleared his throat. He had to distract himself. Too much attention on Clark's body was already making him hard. Having Clark's best interest in mind certainly didn't include picturing him on his knees, clad only in the fitted black jeans, sucking Lex's cock. 

"So." Why was he nervous? Clark had never made him nervous before. "I called ahead, everything should be in place for us at the penthouse. I had two rooms made up and dinner should be waiting." 

"Two?" Clark's eyes glinted mischievously, his right eyebrow cocked inquiringly. His tone was positively flirtatious. Lex's cock twitched. 

"Yes," Lex pushed on, completely ignoring the suggestiveness of Clark's demeanor. "I picked the two bedrooms closest to the entertainment room, since that's the most comfortable part of the penthouse." 

The rest of trip passed in genial silence. Lex did his best to concentrate on the work he hoped to complete in Metropolis. 

* * *

Clark's eyes devoured the penthouse as Lex showed him around. The smile he wore wasn't the warm, inclusive smile Lex knew so well. This smile owned things. Took things and possessed them. 

Clark lightly stroked the Ming Dynasty vase on the library shelf. His eyes consumed the Persian rugs. He asked the name of every painting. It took nearly an hour for Clark to take in all fourteen rooms. There were only two rooms left unseen, the bedrooms Lex had asked the staff to make up. 

"I'll show you to your room so you can get settled in." 

"I'd like that, Lex." The look in Clark's eyes... Lex tried not to think about it as he escorted Clark down the hall, gesturing him into the room on the left. 

"I'll be across the hall here. The entertainment room is here, between our rooms." Lex pointed. "I'm going to take a shower. Want to meet me in the dining room around 7 for dinner? There should be towels and anything you need waiting for you." 

"This is really great, Lex." 

"Sure, Clark. Anything for a friend." Lex meant it and, in response, got Clark's warmest, most inclusive smile. The one that had been missing when Clark had examined the penthouse. The new Clark was sexy and charming, but Lex realized how much he missed the old Clark when he saw that smile. 

Lex stood in the doorway watching until Clark closed the door behind him presumably to go about his own ablutions. 

Lex moved slowly into his own room. If not for the presence of his clothes in the closet and the picture of his mother on the dresser the room would be too nondescript to be identified as Lex's. Toeing off his shoes, he left a trail of clothes across the blue carpet as he went for the shower. The bathroom was sterile, all clean white tile and gold-toned fixtures. 

He stood at the sink in front of the large mirror running his hands over his naked body. His palms slid over his chest and down his sides. Lex fit each middle finger in to the groove of his obliques, pressing before bringing his hands back up and locking his fingers behind his neck. It was so hard not to touch himself now, but Lex wanted to draw it out. The thought of Clark, dozens of feet away, maybe naked and contemplating his own shower was a huge turn on. Lex turned, assessing the large Jacuzzi tub and the shower stall, deciding on the shower. 

As Lex closed the door on the stall, he gave up worrying and wondering what was going on, what was going to happen. Smart businessmen knew when to relax and regroup. 

The water was hot, pelting his pale skin brutally. Steam covered the glass panel of the shower, hiding the rest of the bathroom from view. Luxuriating in the isolation, the calming sound of the water, he slowly lathered himself. The soap was slick, the lather soft and Lex let his hands drift as the soap fell to the floor. 

His nipples were already stiff as he scratched his nails over them. His hands glossed past firm stomach muscles, fingers reaching in the tight groove where his inner thighs met. His cock was hard, flat against his lower abdomen. The heat of the water stained his chest and back a burning crimson. Lex palmed his balls, tugging them gently before grasping his cock. Just holding and not stroking. 

Letting everything go, Lex stroked slowly, eyes closed, head back, thinking of Clark. This new Clark who shimmered with sexual tension and held his gaze too long. In Lex's imagination, Clark was naked, his hard body wet, slick with soap. He stroked his cock harder, faster, picturing Clark doing the same. 

Clark's name echoed off the cold, milky tile of the sterile room as Lex came in his own hand. 

* * *

"This is the life, Lex." Clark smiled. He certainly looked happier than he had since he arrived at the mansion. 

"I'm glad you like it. The chef my father employs here is particularly talented." Lex was too tense to really enjoy his food. The change in Clark plagued him. "Clark, what's going on with you?" 

"What do you mean?" Clark's smile didn't fade, though he titled his head as he asked. 

"Fighting with your parents, leaving Smallville, the new girl. It's unlike you. Did something happen? Did you do something to upset your parents? Take something maybe?" He couldn't keep the concern out of his voice. Lex really did want to help Clark if something had happened, but he couldn't do anything without the facts. 

Clark laughed, graceful and confident. "Are you implying that I'm on drugs?" His tone suggested that this was ridiculous. "C'mon, Lex, you know me better than that." 

"Then what is it? What would make you leave the home you've had your whole life?" 

"Everything is fine. Really. I just had some time to think and I am finally aware of what I want in life. I deserve to have something better than what life has handed me. My parents saw it differently, they thought I should stay on the farm. We fought, I left." 

"And that's all?" Lex wasn't sure he could believe that. 

"That's all, Lex." Clark's answer had a finality to it, an implied threat. It was obvious he wasn't answering any other questions when he changed the subject. "What's this wine?" Holding the glass up to the light as if to examine it, Clark instead looked at Lex as he spoke. 

"It's a 1985 Chateau Ducru-Beaucaillou." 

"Do you know a lot about wine?" Clark's eyes hadn't left Lex's. Lex faced him, genially matching his unblinking gaze. 

"Sure, Clark, what do you want to know?" 

"I'm just curious, I guess. How do you learn about these things?" 

"Well, there are books you can read. You can go to a lot of wine tastings and listen to really boring people tell you all about wine, or you can just try a lot things and decide what you like." 

Clark laughed. "Sure, Lex, 'try lot's of things'. You have to have money to do those things. Lots of money." His look was challenging. 

"Well, for me money is no obstacle. I could help you learn the things you want to, although it seems odd to me that Clark Kent would be interested in fine wines." 

"I'm interested in all the finer things in life, now, Lex." Clark's eyes drank Lex in as he spoke. 

Lex wouldn't let himself be unnerved by Clark, that would be foolish. "Well, lucky for you, I know something about the finer things in life. Feel free to take me up on my offer to teach you." 

"What kind of things, Lex?" Leaning forward, Clark moistened his lips as he spoke. The pink flash of tongue seemed to be a proposition. 

"What exactly are you asking, Clark?" 

* * *

Clark's endless questions about how the wealthy acted and what they did were accompanied by endless glasses of wine. Lex knew he should be moderating himself, but everything was so off-kilter today that getting drunk really seemed like the only sensible action. 

They carried the brandy down to the entertainment room, making themselves comfortable on the burgundy leather couch. 

"Why do rich people always have leather things, Lex?" Clark ran his free hand over the back of the couch, resting it behind Lex's neck. He seemed comfortable invading Lex's personal space. 

"I don't know. I guess because it feels good." Clark was leaning in, too close, too warm. Lex realized just how much he'd had to drink as he felt himself responding, turning toward Clark. 

"It does feel good, doesn't it?" Clark's eyes were half-closed, sexy, questioning. He reached for Lex's snifter and set both glasses on the table. He moved all the way back in until Lex could feel the heat of their bodies blending. 

"What do you want, Lex?" Clark's breath was warm on his cheek. So close. 

"What do I want? In life? Or right now?" Lex tried not to stumble on the words. Clark's unsubtle innuendoes were making his intentions explicit. They had both been drinking and Lex knew his place as the adult here should be to set limits. 

"Right now. Do you want to kiss me?" Clark's hand rested on Lex's leg. The heat of it burned through his wool pants. Tension sparked between them and the alcohol and Clark's obvious invitation were destroying Lex's decision making abilities. 

"Do I want..." His ridiculous parroting was cut off by lips on his. Hot, soft, ripe plum lips. 

A second hot hand came up and cradled his scalp. Lex was pulled, unresisting, against Clark. He knew, somewhere outside the alcohol haze, that this wasn't a good idea. Something was wrong with Clark. Doing this meant Lex was taking advantage. He should stop this, work on helping Clark get back to normal. But the year of repressed desires and the raw sexuality of this new Clark were simply too overwhelming. 

Lex's hands trailed up over the soft, fitted black t-shirt, feeling the heat beneath, the power just under Clark's skin. The hand on Lex's leg disappeared and reappeared, pulling his shirt from his waist band and seeking skin underneath. 

The kisses never stopped. Clark explored and Lex did the same. Clark found his buttons and made short work of them, while Lex sampled the skin of Clark's jaw, his neck, behind his ear. He moved, pressing Clark back, laying him into the couch. Hands stroking over stomach, ribs, arms. 

"Lex." The voice in his ear was so low and full of the tenor of desire, the sound of it coiled hotly in Lex's stomach. "Should we move? I'm sure there are plenty of beds in this place." 

"Yes... wait," Lex tried to clear his head. "Are you sure, Clark? Are you sure this is what you want?" The damage was done. If Clark really wanted this, Lex would gladly give in to his desires. 

Instead of answering, Clark tugged him up and led him down the hallway toward Lex's room. Clark turned with an inviting smile, pushed the bedroom door open and backed inside, pulling Lex in after him. The shades were up, affording them a view of the whole city blinking below them. The blue curtains around Lex's bed were pulled back, tied to the bedposts, the blue comforter already turned down. 

"Nice." Clark played with the ties around the bedposts as he spoke, looking around him at the dark, polished furniture and many doors leading the closets, the study, the entertainment room, the bathroom and the hall. 

"Are you sure?" Lex cleared his throat, watching Clark. He moved like a jungle cat, coming straight for Lex and catching his mouth, pulling him in, moving them both back towards the bed. 

"I finally decided," Clark whispered, leaning back to look Lex in the eyes, "I decided to just go for what I want. Like you are always telling me I should." Clark tumbled them both onto the bed. He yanked at Lex's unbuttoned shirt. 

Lex sought Clark's full and inviting lips. He sucked and bit the tender flesh. Struggling to free Clark from his t-shirt. 

Clark's skin smelled like warm sunshine. Lex kissed down Clark's chest, tasting, taking everything. Clark's hands traveled over Lex's head, shoulders, tickled up his sides. 

"Oh god, _Lex_." They turned together, rolling, Clark on top now. He reached up, pining Lex's hands above his head as his lips claimed all the skin they could find. Clark teased and licked his way down, biting Lex's nipples almost too hard. His tongue slid into Lex's belly button, playing over the waistband of his pants. Clark worked expertly and rapidly at the button and zipper, freeing Lex's cock before he even realized how far it had gone. The only thing to do now was to go forward. 

Releasing Lex's wrist's, Clark moved down putting both hands on Lex's hips. Lex looked down into bright, burning eyes staring back at him. Clark licked his reddened lips. 

"Do _you_ want this, Lex?" Teasing played beneath the notes of sex in Clark's voice. "Do you want me to suck your cock? Have you thought about what it would feel like to have my mouth wrapped around you?" 

"Clark, oh _god_." Clear thinking was destroyed as Clark licked up his length, nipping at the tip gently. 

Clark's lips teased over him, tongue barely tasting, lips nibbling. Lex arched up, wanting more pressure, more contact. Clark engulfed him slowly, stroking with his tongue. Clark cupped Lex's ass, leveraging him up to suck with a steady rhythm. 

Lex moved with Clark, wondering how long he would last. Cool air replaced Clark's warm, wet mouth. Lex looked down as Clark rested his chin on his stomach and looked up at him. 

"Is this what you want, Lex? Do you want to come in my mouth, or do you want to fuck me?" 

"Both," Lex said, his voice choked with need. 

Lex's hips bucked up as Clark's lips closed over him again. His fingers twisted into the dark curls, pulling the wet heat to him. He felt Clark gag as he pushed in. 

"Relax your throat and swallow," Lex murmured, pushing in again, deep this time. Clark caught his rhythm, taking Lex into his throat. 

He knew there were finger-made bruises forming on his hips, fine strands of hair twined around his fingers, but all Lex could really feel was the wet heat, and cat-rough tongue on his cock. Electricity twitched down his spine and he was aware of the throbbing in his cock before he realized it meant he was coming. The room swam with blue-black lights and Clark's name rang like a bell through his head. He spasmed convulsively, never-endingly. His cock was covered, warm, wet, until it was soft again. 

Lex let himself be pulled to Clark, felt lips on his and arms around him. The kiss broke and Clark pressed Lex's head against his shoulder. Sated and drunk, Lex felt everything else slip away, but the arms encircling him. 

* * *

Lex crept back to consciousness from delicious, vague dreams of wet, red lips that tasted of his come. Clark's arms were still around him, though one had slipped low enough to cup his hardening cock. Only the light of the city night came through the windows, leaving Lex with no idea of how much time had passed. 

He felt Clark's erection against his hip as Clark's hand gently brought him back to his pre-spent state. 

"Clark, I..." Clark cut him off. 

"No rest for the wicked, Lex." Each word was punctuated with a stroke. "We aren't done playing." 

"I want to fuck you," Lex rasped, taking Clark's lips. He rolled them over as they kissed. On top, he slid up, his cock scraping roughly over Clark's jeans. His mind was clear now and he could see clearly that Clark wanted him. No room for regrets in that heated gaze. Lex's lips traced patterns over Clark's jaw, his neck. 

Lex moved slowly, lips never losing contact with the terrain of golden skin below him. He turned until they met the other way, face to cock and cock to face. Clark was as unlike Lex as he could have imagined. Uncut, with black, coarse curls where Lex only had pale, smooth skin. Cradling the stiff cock in both hands, Lex used his thumbs to slide the foreskin back. Gratified by Clark's soft whimper, he began licking roughly across the reddened head as it was revealed. 

In response, Clark's mouth nipped and teased across Lex's cock. Wispy breaths, tongue flickering tiny licks. The sensation tickled, taunted and Lex pushed his hips down, trying to get more contact. He wanted Clark, wanted contact, but the teasing drew out the pleasure and making this last forever was high on Lex's priority list right now. 

Clark cried out as Lex swallowed his cock. 

"Oh, god, Lex. Fuck, it feels good. I had no idea." Clark rocked his hips up, his mouth still playing over Lex's cock as he spoke. "Last night wasn't like this. Not this good." 

Last night? Jessie. Something Lex certainly didn't want to think about right now. 

Pulling back, Lex looked up at Clark as he spoke, "I'm gonna make you feel so good, Clark." Lex engulfed Clark again, he tasted the baking soda tang of pre-come as his lips pushed the silky foreskin over the rigid flesh. Clark's commentary went back to monosyllabic. Lex sucked hard, reaching hands under Clark's ass, pulling Clark up into his throat. 

Clark responded in kind, wrapping his mouth around Lex. Heat coiled low in Lex's belly, sizzling and spreading. He fucked hard into the mouth below him, matching the rhythm he had on Clark's cock. The room around him blurred, everything but Clark, ceasing to exist. 

Twisting his grip on Clark's ass, he pulled the cheeks apart, seeking the center with a fingertip. He pressed the pad of his finger flat against Clark's opening. Clark's body bent and jerked beneath him, trying to push up into Lex's mouth and back against his finger at the same time. 

Wanting to give more to Clark, Lex sped his tempo as he felt the first throb at the base of Clark's cock. 

"Lexlexlexlexlexlexlex." The beat of Clark's mantra matched the bucking of his hips as the tempest of his orgasm washed over him. 

Lex released him, his lips salty now, and crawled back to Clark's head to let him taste himself. Coming had done nothing to dull Clark's hunger. The kiss was fierce and drowning. Lex pushed his own erection hard against the soft skin of Clark's hip, very aware of his own need for release. 

Lex pulled back to dig the drawer beside the bed, looking for lube. "Do you want it? Do you want to feel me inside you?" Clark nodded, eyes wide and ravenous as Lex squeezed a handful of slickness out of the bottle. Reaching between them, he let it slide over Clark's still half-hard, spent cock, down over his balls and into the hot cleft there. He gentled his fingers over Clark, before slowly sliding one in. Gasping, Clark tightened and, after a second, relaxed. 

"This is going to be good for both of us, Clark." Lex knew he was rushing. Clark barely had time to get ready for the second finger before there was a third. He couldn't slow down, he had to feel Clark's heat around him. "Roll over. On your knees." 

"No, Lex. I want to see you." Clark spread his legs wide, canted his hips up, inviting. Oh god. His eyes were fixed on Lex, mouth half-open, seconding the invitation. There was no refusing. Lex grasped his cock, slicking it. He knelt between Clark's spread legs, leaning forward to find the angle. 

"Lex," Clark spoke as Lex's cock pushed at his entrance. 

"Clark, are you ok?" 

"I want you inside. Inside _me_." Clark reached, hand stroking the side of Lex's face and moving down over his chest. Lex pushed in, slowly, feeling the heat grab him, drag him in deeper. 

Lex rocked his hips, drowning in the heat and pleasure. Moaning softly, he pulled out and slid slowly back in to the delirious sensation that enveloped him. Clark gasped when Lex thrust in as deep he as could and stilled his hips. Leaning down, he kissed Clark, hard, possessively as Clark's well-lubed cock rubbed over Lex's stomach. 

Lex broke the kiss. "I'm going fuck you hard," he said. Pulling out of Clark, smoothly, slowly, he slammed back in, hard. 

"You feel so good, inside me, so fucking good." Clark's eyes never left Lex's as he tipped his hips up, bringing his knees up over Lex's sweat-slicked shoulders. Desperate, needy noises crawled from Lex as he slipped deeper into Clark. He reached up, bracing one hand behind Clark's knee. 

As hard as he was thrusting, Lex's rhythm was steady. Clark's rapid breathing was peppered with tiny cries, but he didn't close his eyes, he still watched Lex intently. He twisted his hips with each of Lex's strokes, increasing the friction, the contact. Clark pulled Lex's hand to his lips, sucking each of Lex's fingers in turn as Lex fucked him. Lips slipping wetly over each finger in a mimicry of the act they were performing. 

Clark pushed their hands down between sweaty bellies, leaving Lex's hand to stroke Clark's slick, stiff cock. He kissed over Lex's shoulder, lifting his head up to Lex' jaw. His breath was soft in Lex's ear as he whispered, "Yes, fuck me, fuck me harder. Oh god." Lex shuddered at the tickle of breath and pumped faster, harder. 

Lex owned Clark, had him, like he had always wanted. "You're so beautiful like this. You're mine. You're so good, Clark. So fucking tight. So good." 

"I'm all yours, Lex,." 

It was too much. Lex jacked Clark's cock fast, holding himself back, wanting to wait for Clark. 

"Come for me, Clark. I want to see your face when you come for me." He squeezed Clark tightly, pounding hard into him. 

"Lex, Lex, harder. Fuck me hard. I'm coming, Lex. I'm coming." Clark's voice was hoarse, broken, his hips jerked up violently. "Oh god. _LEX_." Lex was coming, too, his voice praying Clark's name as he gave himself up completely to the feeling that blossomed up his spine. 

* * *

Lex's mind crawled from the grim, stickiness of dark unmemorable dreams. He felt thick and groggy. Rolling over onto crusty, stained sheets brought the whole previous evening flashing back to him. Clark had cried out Lex's name as he came. He had fucked Clark and now Clark wasn't here. 

Lex stumbled to the shower. His mind moved slowly like winter honey. He stood immobile under the hot water, his mind replaying the masturbation fantasy of the night before with shiny, new, clear detail. Now he knew what Clark's face looked like when he came, what he sounded like. Lex's mind added to the fantasy, making it richer, hotter, but he didn't touch himself this time and soon his mind wandered. Had Clark gone back to his own room? Was he embarrassed to face Lex after last night? Had Clark gone back to his normal, shy, reserved, charming self? The questions plagued Lex as he dressed and headed to the kitchen in search of coffee. 

He found the coffee already made and Martine waiting for his breakfast instructions. 

"Just coffee and toast for me today, Martine." She nodded at him. "I'll be in the office. Thank you." Lex started to leave, but turned to ask, "Has Mr. Kent been in for breakfast?" 

"Yes, Mr. Luthor. He ate and left about an hour ago." She turned to the pantry. The answer was wholly unsatisfactory. Where would Clark have gone? Maybe he'd been shaken up by the night's activities and had returned to Smallville to make up with his parents. What if he told... no. He couldn't worry until he had more facts. That way lay madness. 

The door to the office was ajar and a single sheet of Lex's own stationary lay in the center of the desk. 

'Lex, I'll be back. Wanna play tonight? C.' Even Clark's handwriting looked sharper. Lex set the note aside, unwilling to admit how glad he was that Clark hadn't run back to Smallville. 

Lost in mountains of paperwork, Lex hadn't realized how much of the day had passed until he caught sight of the gold light as it slanted steeply through the windows. He looked up just as Clark came into the office, loaded down with packages. 

"Lex!" If Clark had any doubts about the sex the night before, his face betrayed nothing. 

"Clark, you're back." Lex closed the files on his desk and turned his full attention to Clark, "What have you got there?" 

"I've been shopping and... other things." Clark smiled as he spoke, setting the packages down. "I got something for you." He handed Lex a large package. 

Lex recognized the Fendi logo on the box. "Clark, how can you afford this?" 

"You don't really need to worry, Lex. I told you one day I'll be richer than you. I'll pay you back." He gestured towards the box. "Open it. I checked with your staff to get your size. Do they know everything about you?" 

After opening Clark's 'gifts,' Lex found himself the new owner of a neatly tailored pair of Fendi leather jeans and a silky black Dolce  & Gabbana shirt. Prada, Versace and Gaultier logos peeked out of Clark's other bags. 

"What's all this for, Clark?" 

"I thought we could go out." Clark leered, really leered. "I picked out things I want to see you in." He turned his attention away from Lex and began to move from the room. "I ordered dinner for seven-thirty. We'll go out later." And he was gone again, leaving Lex with more questions than answers. 

Closing his computer and leaning back, Lex wondered what was coming. Clark had simply taken charge of the evening, without consulting Lex. He wasn't concerned about the money spent, but the manner Clark had adopted about possessions was unsettling. And the liberties Clark was taking made Lex feel as if the tables had turned. Like Clark was taking the reins. 

* * *

During dinner Clark was full of questions, still hungry for knowledge of the world of the rich and famous. And, again, Lex drank too much. Clark seemed distant, or rather, more concerned with things other than Lex. 

Lex wasn't sure what he'd expected after last night, certainly not professions of undying love, but maybe some acknowledgement of everything that happened would be in order. Clark's flirtatiousness hadn't slowed. It wasn't any different than the pre-sex flirting had been. Where they were going remained a mystery. Sitting on the edge of his bed to pull on the leather pants, he wondered if coming to Metropolis had been a good idea. 

A knock at the bedroom door interrupted Lex's thoughts. Clark entered, not waiting for an invitation. He was stunning in leather jeans topped with a fitted grey t-shirt which shimmered faintly where the light caught the angles of his body. 

"We'll take the Porsche?" Clark held up a finger to reveal dangling keys that glinted much like his eyes. 

Lex bent down and straightened the right leg of his pants. He looked up, but gave no sign that he was ready to leave. 

"Sure. Are you going to tell me where we are going?" 

Clark crossed the room with elegant grace and knelt between Lex's knees. So close that Lex felt Clark's breath across his cheek as Clark whispered, "I just want to show you off a little; have some fun." 

Any response Lex could have given was lost in Clark's mouth as his full red lips overtook Lex's. "Clark." Lex tried to shake off the kiss-induced daze. "What's going on with you? What are we doing?" 

"It's just fun, Lex. Come on. Let's go." A blur of black and grey shimmer and Clark was in the doorway, beckoning. 

* * *

As they walked into the thump and glitter of the third club, Lex's head was spinning. The whole evening was becoming a blur of drinks pressed into his hand, dancing with Clark, and kissing him in secluded corners. 

Clark disappeared as soon as he put another drink into Lex's hand. Lex set the drink down and headed toward the bar in search of water. He looked around and realized that there were no women in this club. Most of the men didn't have shirts on and everyone was beautiful. How the hell did Clark know about gay clubs? Had he brought Lex here on purpose? 

Lex took a seat at the bar and ordered two bottles of water and another drink, which sat untouched. Deep in thought, he downed the bottles of water. Where was Clark anyway? Lex pushed himself from the bar stool, his head spinning more from the dazzling lights than the alcohol. The crush of bodies on the dance floor wasn't easy to pass through, but there wasn't a way around it. Lex finally spotted the narrow hallway leading to the bathroom and pushed more forcefully through the bodies writhing around him. 

The hallway was even denser with human traffic than the dance floor. Pairs of men, not caring for privacy, engaged in every sexual act imaginable. The hallway was dim and the only light came through the open bathroom door at the end. Doing his best to ignore the bacchanalia taking place around him, Lex made his way unmolested. Apparently urinals didn't make for good sex and Lex was able to relieve himself in relative peace while men twisted, panted and moaned from inside the stalls and along the wall behind him. 

After washing his hands and splashing cold water on his face, Lex studied his reflection. Purple smudges bloomed beneath his eyes and fine red lines spidered through them. He winced slightly. God, he looked so tired, and drunk. He had to pull himself together. 

The face that turned from the mirror was the one that ran board meetings of multinational corporations: an emotionless mask. As he left the bathroom, some movement caught his eye and... 

"Clark! Jesus! Fuck!" Lex froze. Panic fluttered through him at the tableau before him. Adrenaline thinned the blood in his veins. His heart constricted at what he saw. 

Clark was leaning in a corner, eyes half-closed, light from the open bathroom door glowing across his damp skin. His hand was fisted into the hair of a blond boy kneeling in the dirty hallway. Clark was pushing the boy lower, forcing the blond's mouth on to his cock to replace the hand that was wrapped there. Clark's eyes flicked up as he heard his name. 

"Lex." His name was a purr on Clark's lips. "I was wondering when you'd join us." His free hand shot out and grabbed Lex's shirt, pulling his mouth toward Clark's kiss-reddened lips. 

Lex struggled against Clark's grip and pulled back. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Clark?" The adrenaline overrode confusion and heartbreak. Every muscle in Lex's body vibrated with rage. 

"C'mon, Lex, tonight was about fun, right?" Clark stared straight at Lex, hand still gripping the blond's hair, cock still hard. 

"This isn't my idea of fun." Lex turned and shoved his way through the debauchery that lined the walls of the hallway. All the writhing bodies seemed determined to block his way as he hastened from the club. Time seemed to expand, prolonging everything, until finally he exited into in the crisp outside air. 

* * *

It took Lex far too long to find the parking garage they had left the Porsche in. He hoped the search had left him sober enough to drive. All he wanted right now was to go home. He dropped the keys. When he bent to retrieve them, he saw a shadow behind him. The sound of his breathing echoed hollowly in the silent garage. Lex turned as he stood. 

"Where are you going, Lex?" Clark's smile was frosty, mocking. 

"I'm going home. I'm tired and I don't want to play your little games. I don't know what's going on with you, Clark, but this has to stop before someone gets hurt." Lex played for nonchalant, for matter-of-fact. He was sure he wasn't convincing. 

"'Someone gets hurt'?" Clark advanced on Lex as he spoke, intimidation in every stretch of muscle. "Who is going to get hurt? It won't be me. Is it you, Lex? Did your feelings get hurt because someone besides you was sucking my cock?" Clark stood close enough that Lex had to tip his head back to see his face. "Were you hurt because I didn't tell you that I loved you when you fucked me? Were you going to make me your _boy_?" 

"Clark, look, this isn't you." Lex tried to step back but was blocked by the Porsche behind him. Clark took another step. "I don't know why you're acting this way." The vacant chill of Clark's gaze sent a shiver up Lex's spine. Something Lex was reluctant to call fear washed over him, but he refused to cower. What had Clark said the day they left? _You have no idea what I'm capable of._ The idea that Clark was on drugs flickered through Lex's thoughts, or maybe Clark had simply gone insane. 

Clark ignored Lex's words. He pushed Lex back against the car until they were hip to hip. The outline of Clark's cock, half-hard, ground against Lex as his hips twisted. Raising his hands up to push Clark back, Lex found both his wrists trapped in the circle of Clark's iron-like fingers. He couldn't break free. The confinement hit him like a blow and he began to struggle. 

"You were just going to walk away on our night of fun because you couldn't make me only _yours_? You think you're so much better than me? That you can possess me?" Clark held Lex's hands to the side, easily stopping his struggles and grinding his erection into Lex's hip again. The menacing words were whispered in his ear. "You don't have anything but what your _daddy_ gave you. You have to fuck teenage boys to make yourself feel powerful. Did you feel powerful when you fucked me, Lex? What felt better? Your cock in my ass, or the control over me? I know you. I know what you're like." 

"It wasn't like that. You know it wasn't like that." Lex didn't meet Clark's eyes as he spoke. He fought the hands that trapped him, but Clark's grip was too tight. The strength there was frightening and he began to feel fear that hadn't touched him since his teen years. He looked up and Clark caught his mouth in a kiss both bloodthirsty and sensual. Clark's teeth teased at Lex's lips. Frantic to escape, Lex turned his head, trying to pull back, to make Clark stop. Clark only moved back a little, bringing his free hand between them, unfastened his jeans and then Lex's. "Stop this, Clark. Stop. Now." Lex tried to sound authoritative and winced at the pleading and fear in his voice. 

Lex felt eyes burning on him even as he looked away, struggling futilely in Clark's iron grip. Cool air hit him as Clark pulled the leather pants from him. Lex's skin was bared from waist to knees. Clark's hand squeezed tight around Lex's limp dick. 

"Not hard?" The squeeze on his cock was almost painful. Cruel, gleaming teeth bit at Lex's lips, drawing blood. "I thought you liked it rough. I know you want me. I saw the way you looked at me when I came into your room tonight. I felt you getting hard when we made out in the back of those clubs." The hand on his cock began a gentle, teasing, pulling. The touch wasn't enough to make him hard, the horror at what Clark had become was too great. 

Wrenching Lex's arms painfully, Clark used the leverage he had on Lex's hand to make him turn his body. Lex kicked and fought despite being tightly bound the half-lowered pants that made his kicks ineffective. With Lex's hands pinned behind his back, the top of the car pressed into his chest, making his breath catch. He could feel Clark's hard length against his ass. Clark's hand still taunted Lex's cock. Lex's shoulders burned and tore as he tried to get his arms free with frenzied jerks. Clark's laughter at Lex's struggle sounded hollow and evil in his skull. 

"What's going to make you hard, Lex? Will you only get hard if I'm on my knees in front of you, or will you get hard when I fuck you? Does it only work when you're the one in control?" Clark released Lex's dick. 

Clark's fingers probed at Lex's mouth. Lex knew what was coming and he clenched his teeth shut, refusing the fingers access. Clark's hand pressed over his nose, denying him air. "Don't fight it, Lex, you know you fucking want it," Clark murmured. Lex squirmed helplessly, until finally his mouth was forced open and the fingers pressed in. Lex bit down hard. Shocked when Clark didn't even flinch. His fingers sufficiently slicked with saliva and blood, Clark withdrew them, chuckling. "Don't even try to hurt me, Lex. You'll fucking regret it." The wet fingers drove into Lex's asshole, ripping and tearing the soft skin. Lex arched up, neck tense and screams escaping from his throat that he couldn't begin to stop. He'd never felt this kind of pain, this kind of helplessness. He couldn't get away, he couldn't move, his ass was burning as sharp pain ripped up his spine. The cold metal of Clark's class ring rasped across his ass cheek. The jolt as a finger crossed his prostrate was anguish, sharp and hard. 

"I can fuck you right now, dry or you can get down and slick my cock with those pretty doll-pink lips of yours." Lex felt Clark's chin on his shoulder, his voice vibrating in Lex's ear before he could really understand the words. Clark spoke with disgustingly intimate affection. 

"This isn't you, Clark," Lex gasped out, chest still pressed too tightly against the car. "This isn't you." His voice broke on the last word. 

"I'll just fuck you dry then." Soft, blunt pressure and, for a second, Lex wasn't afraid, because this _couldn't_ be happening. 

Lex's fear was overtaken by pain as Clark forced his way past the first ring of muscle. Lex's scream was crushed into mewling whimpers by the frame of the car pressing against his chest. His arms were twisted painfully up, still bound by steel fingers. 

Blood ran down Lex's chin as he bit his tongue to keep from crying out again. He squirmed, desperate to be away, but Clark had him pinned. He heard Clark's laughter as he tried to pulled away. 

"Can't take it, can you? Giving it up to me, like I gave it up to you?" Clark's taunt was punctuated with a hard bite to Lex's shoulder. 

"It wasn't like this." Lex couldn't hide his sobs as he spoke. The pain was breaking him. His arms burned as his muscles twisted, he felt his tender skin rip around Clark's cock, his blood ran, warm and slick. "It was different." 

"You don't like this? Don't like it when _you_ are _mine_?" Clark squeezed his wrists so hard, Lex thought he heard something break. Searing pain wracked Lex's body as Clark fucked his ass, hard and fast. 

Lex was dizzy from hyperventilating and only half-aware when Clark's pace sped up, but the world flipped into sharp detail around him. He could see each metal fleck in the car's paint, each speck of dirt on the grubby concrete beneath his feet, the electric halo around each light. Clark freed his wrists, using a hand to grasp each of Lex's hips instead. Lex didn't struggle now, pain and exhaustion filling all the space that existed in his mind. 

"You're so good, Lex. So fucking tight. So good." Clark groaned, leaning over and _biting_ the back of his neck. Lex vaguely felt the skin break, felt the hot trickle of blood running down his neck, but it was nothing compared to the pain that ripped from his ass up his spine and filled his body cell by cell. 

Lex felt the second that Clark began to come. Clark's breath hitched and Lex felt the pulse against the raw nerves in his ass, could feel Clark's body shuddering against him 

Clark moaned in a voice strained with pleasure, "Jesus, oh fuck, Lex, so fucking good..." Then Clark let go of his hip and a huge hand pushed Lex's face down into the car's roof hard. The impact sent him into welcome oblivion. 

When Lex came to on the ground next to the Porsche, his pants were pulled up, although he could feel semen and blood drying in his pants. Lex had no sense that it was all a bad dream, no doubts about what had just happened. 

Clark was gone. Clark had raped him. Lex had let Clark have control of him. Clark. The thing that wore Clark's face. 

His mind set on autopilot, Lex returned to the penthouse. The drive, the shower, settling on the couch with Valium and scotch were vague blips in Lex's empty mind. With considerable effort, Lex managed to keep his mind completely blank. He knew thinking would eventually be unavoidable. He had to face what happened, but first, sleep. 

* * *

"Wake up! Hey, guy! Wake up!" Lex's head throbbed as his body was shaken. He cracked an eye to see a strange blond man leaning over him. 

"Hey, your friend's fucked up. I don't know what kind of drugs he's on, but I didn't come here for this shit." It was the cock-sucking blond from the club. Forcing himself out of the haze of pills and alcohol, Lex sat up and stared at the stranger. 

"What the fuck are you doing in my house? What's going on?" 

"It's your friend. He's on some fucked-up drugs or something. We came back here to fuck in the pool, but he just freaked out and he won't stop crying." The blond looked around nervously. He couldn't be more than 18. "I came and found you because I thought he might drown if I left him alone. I just want to get out of here." He took off down the hall towards the door. 

Lex's heart was pounding. What the fuck was going on? 

He walked to the pool room more slowly than he should have, considering that Clark might be hurt. The ambivalence he felt toward Clark's distress was something new and weird to him even now, even knowing that Clark had raped him. 

Murky predawn grey leaked in the windows surrounding the room. Naked and wet, Clark was a shuddering heap on the pale tile edging the pool. His sobs echoed off the expansive windows. 

Panic overtook Lex's anger as he rushed to his friend's side, grabbing a towel on the way to wrap Clark in. 

"Did he hurt you, Clark? Did that guy do something to you? Did he give you something?" He pulled Clark up as he spoke, wrapping the purple towel around his shoulders, pushing wet hair off his face. His voice was harsh, full of the anger he felt at being forced back into Clark's presence, but his anger felt broken, splintered by his distress at Clark's pain. Lex felt confused and hurt by his need to help Clark. 

"No." The words were barely audible caught in Clark's throat. "I did it. I did all of it. Oh god. Lex." Sobs erupted anew, Clark's face was red and distorted as he cried. The sound pierced Lex's heart, so much agony and suffering in the miserable keening. Clark's pain was so confusing. How could someone so violent, so cruel look so broken? 

"Come on, Clark." Lex sat down, pulling Clark halfway into his lap, laying Clark's dark wet head on his shoulder. "Tell me what happened." 

Clark clutched at him, not cognizant of anything around him. Lex had no idea what could do this to Clark, certainly not drugs. The monster that had worn Clark's face in the parking garage was gone, leaving a wretchedly miserable boy. In his lap was the friend he'd known for a year. Pushing aside the rage he felt at Clark for the night before, Lex stroked Clark's damp hair tenderly. He had to do something. 

"Oh god, Lex." Clark's body jerked away from Lex. "Oh, no, no. I didn't. Oh god!" Lex wrapped his arms around the shaking boy, hands gentling, soothing the best he could. 

"It's okay, Clark. Just let it out, then you can tell me what happened. We'll fix whatever it is, okay?" Lex rocked them a little, the way his mother used to. He reached for Clark's hands rubbing them between his to warm them. Clark's class ring was gone. That little shit must have stolen it before he abandoned Clark here. 

When Clark's weeping finally slowed, the sun was peeking coldly through the windows. Clark stayed against Lex's chest, shivering, silent 

"I need to know what happened, Clark. Do I need to take you to the hospital?" The rage crept back into Lex's voice. The question seemed to rouse Clark from his stupor. 

"No, no hospitals, Lex. I just want to go home," Clark's voice was that of a beaten child. "Please, can you take me home?' 

* * *

"Lex?" Clark's entrance was timid, his lithe body stiff with tension and nervousness and he peered into the room. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Every muscle clenched with anger at the sight of Clark. Lex struggled for control, forcing himself to see this gentle Clark as a different person from the violent, venomous stranger who had been in Metropolis. Only days ago. It felt like years. 

"No, Clark." Lex shut the laptop. The light that filtered through the window behind him stained his hands red as he folded them on top of the computer. "What can I do for you?" It was the first time he'd seen Clark since Martha had led him, crying weakly, up the stairs of the Kent farmhouse. 

"I just...I came to apologize. And to thank you." Clark was stiff, uncomfortable, like a child in the principal's office for the first time. "Um, my mom said you paid for the stuff on the Visa bill that they couldn't return. Thank you." Face still pointed to the floor, Clark's eyes darted up to catch Lex's. 

"It was nothing, Clark. Just a favor." He meant to add, 'anything for a friend,' but the words caught in his throat. It was no longer true. Everything was different now. 

"It really means a lot, Lex. That you would do that." Clark cleared his throat. "Especially after everything that happened. Everything I did." 

"What you did?" Lex looked directly at Clark, _into_ Clark. Challenging him to own up to what he did, to face what had happened. He moved around to the front of the desk, waiting for Clark to speak. 

Lex gazed at Clark, who fidgeted, his eyes shifting, unable to take the scrutiny. 

"I'm sorry." Lex watched Clark's eyes flickering away from him like the sight of Lex burned them. "So sorry, oh god," Clark's voice caught and he met Lex's look and held it. "Lex, I don't know. I don't have words to apologize and I don't know how to fix it." Clark's eyes were again drawn to the rug. 

"What was it, Clark?" Lex advanced on Clark as he spoke. "Some new drug that you finally ran out of in the pool that night? Maybe prolonged exposure to the meteors around town? Or was it just a game? A teenage testing of the limits to see what you could get away with?" 

"Lex, I'm sorry, but I can't--" Lex cut him off, not wanting to hear more lies. Clark could use it on someone who would believe it. Lex's rage was in full force now that he realized he would never get the truth. 

"I can try to accept your apology, but it's harder if you don't tell me the truth about what was going on with you." 

"It's complicated. I have... I mean, I don't really know. I'm supposed to talk to a doctor. Some counselors." Clark shifted, the unease of his body belying the smooth lie his lips told. 

"After everything that happened, you still can't tell me the truth?" Lex would have to admit to himself that he couldn't even trust the one person to whom he would have given anything . In the end, he'd even given up control and he couldn't forgive himself for that anymore than he could forgive Clark's lies. Having given free rein to his emotions hadn't done anything but bring pain to them both. Lex never made the same mistake twice. 

"I'm sorry." Clark's voice quavered. "I _can't._ " Clark leaned in, eyes wet. "Lex, are we gonna make it through this?" Lex could feel his breath, the heat of his body. 

"I don't know, Clark. Time heals all wounds, they say. I guess we'll have to wait and see." Lex softened as he saw the hurt written on Clark's face. 

"Lex, I..." Clark cut himself off as he pressed his lips to Lex's. 

The kiss was tender, pleading, gentle and desperate. Lex couldn't help but respond, his hands moving to touch Clark. Lex jerked back, assaulted by flashes of memory. Images of concrete, parked cars, the recollection of the pain that had wracked his body, the cruel words Clark's voice had rained on him. Lex's body and trust had been betrayed, he couldn't give in to soft kisses. 

"You should go home." Anger in his voice, Lex backed away as he spoke, "We can talk about this later." 

"I'm sorry, I lov.." 

"No, Clark. Go home." 

Lex saw the first tear slip from Clark's eye as he turned to leave. His own eyes burned and stung. He felt the wetness on his cheeks as he covered his mouth to stifle his sob. 

**Epilogue**

Clark stroked his hand down his cock, once, squeezing in the middle and stopping, but not taking his hand away. 

He sat, naked, knees apart, in the worn grey armchair in the corner of his room. Hand still on his cock, he leaned back, surveying his surroundings. Almost everything he needed in one room, bathroom an afterthought made of a closet off to one side. It was drab, nondescript, floor blending into walls blending into furniture. 

The building was in the most neglected neighborhood in Metropolis, as nondescript as the apartment itself. Like everything around here, the building was owned by LexCorp. Clark wondered if Lex even knew he lived here. If he thought of Clark at all anymore. 

He remembered the last time he had talked to Lex. Seven years ago. He hadn't known it would be the last time, but, in retrospect, he should have guessed, should have seen it coming. 

"Lex," he said softly as he stroked his cock. He stopped again, drawing out the pain, the pleasure. 

Jessie, a girl that Clark would have forgotten if he could and Lex were the only people who had ever felt his cock. Ever touched it. Ever been hurt by it. 

Seven years and the things he'd done to Lex were completely unforgivable. It was an abuse of his power, an abuse of his friend. Clark hadn't touched anyone since. There wasn't anyone else he wanted. Even if he had found someone else to love, he'd never take the chance of hurting someone like that again. His "gifts' would always deny him intimacy, the risk was too great. 

Two strokes on his cock this time, and he closed his eyes. Images flashing rapidly before him: Lex, younger than the recent pictures of him in the papers, Lex leaning over the pool table, Lex on his bed in the Metropolis penthouse, his wrists trapped beneath Clark's hands, Lex bent over the Porsche in the parking garage, Lex in bed, sleeping, lips swollen from Clark's kisses. The strokes on his cock became steady. 

His mind turned fully to the past, the replay of each crime he'd committed against Lex. He jacked harder, hard enough to hurt himself, if that were possible. 

Lex's name echoed through the room as Clark came in hot spurts over his stomach. Tears streaked down his face, onto his chest, rolling to mingle with the come. 

As clear as it had been seven years ago, he heard his dad telling him that he had to face the truth, had to admit that everything he did under the influence of the red Kryptonite had been based in his own desires. Clark had never been bothered by admitting to himself how much he loved Lex, how much he wanted him. He still punished himself everyday with the memory of how much he he'd hurt Lex. And how much he'd enjoyed it. 

His life was spent alone. Everything he had now was in this room. Everyday, he went to the Daily Planet and did what he could to recount stories about people being hurt. Every night he went out in disguise and saved as many people as he could. He could never redeem himself with Lex. Although he did his best to pay for his crimes by saving the world from people like himself. 

~finish~ 


End file.
